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Roasted Asparagus

26 Jul

Hey, people. I had roasted asparagus tonight. It was delicious. I have to stop and think every single time I type ‘asparagus’ because I want to spell it ‘asperagus’. Moving on.

  • 3 Tbs olive oyl
  • 2 Tbs lemon juice
  • 1 tsp pepper
  • 1 tsp garlic powder

It’s quite simple, really. Line a baking sheet with tinfoil and brush it with olive oyl, and then sprinkle some garlic powder on top of that (optional).

Prep your asparagus, breaking off the woody part at the end, and stick it in a bowl.

Combine your olive oyl, lemon juice, pepper, and garlic powder in a small bowl, and whisk to combine.

Pour it over your asparagus, and toss to coat.

Place in an even layer on your prepared baking sheet. Try not to crowd them, because then they’ll just steam and not roast. Then forget to take a picture before it went in the oven because you’re a goober. Oh wait, that’s me. Moving on.

Roast in a 400 degree oven for 10-15 minutes, or until tender and caramelized.

Yummy! Serve hot as a side dish to whatever you’re feeling, or stick it on a pizza, or on a salad, or in shrimp gumbo… Be like Bubba Gump. Woah my brain’s shutting down kthxbai.

Happy eating!


Independence Day!

3 Jul

Hapy Fourth, everyone! Well, if you live in the US, anyway. Moving on.

A few things to share with you today…

1. Bacon is awesome. It should be considered sacrilege to let it go to waste. I’m sure I’ve mentioned my love for bacon before, but I’m just reiterating.

2. I got a kitty! Her name is Nala and she’s adorable, if a little shy.


3. The first thing that comes to mind when I think of classic “American Fare” is A) Bacon and B) Potato Salad.

Pretty short list, but I’m going to share my recipe for potato salad. It’s kind of awesome. Here’s what you need:

  • Poatoes
  • Mayo
  • Dijon Mustard
  • Dill weed (fresh or dried) OR Dill relish
  • Parsley (fresh or dried)
  • Salt and pepper
  • Green onions
  • Yellow onions

And that’s pretty much it. You could add some hard boiled eggs, if you wanted, or assorted veggies (asperagus [yes that’s spelled MY way], bell peppers, etc.), or something crazy if you really wanted, but this is what I add.

First off, potatoes. I use red, because I like them, but you could use Russet or some other sort of white potato. Heck, you could even use sweet potato and that would work in some cases (not necessarily here).

Ignoring the fact that my potatoes were sprouting, stick them on a cutting board and cube those suckers.

Tolkien reference. Win.

Put them in a pot, and cover with enough water to cover the potatoes plus an inch or so.

Cover them until the water comes to a boil, and then uncover and continue to gently boil for about ten minutes, or until they’re fork tender.

Macbeth reference (I think). I'm on a roll!

While that’s happening, combine about a cup of mayo, a few tablespoons of Dijon mustard, a few teaspoons of salt and pepper, and the herbs.


Whisk them together. Adjust your measurements to taste.

I have no words.

When your potatoes are done, shock them with cold water, and then stick them in a bowl, and then add the veggies.

Pour your sauce on top of that.

So, step one and a half.

Mix well, cover, and stick in the fridge for a few hours.

Heh... marry.

On a side note, this bowl is frickin ancient.

Anyhoo, serve cold with some awesome bacon-covered meatloaf. Have I mentioned my love for bacon? I’m fairly sure I have.

Happy eating!

Fajitas! And cake. That makes sense, right?

28 Oct

Today (but really a long time ago because I started writing this post and never actually finished it) I’m having fajitas! And cake! And they’re both delicious. I don’t have precise amounts of things that I use, so just bear with me. I don’t measure.

  • 1 pound steak/beef*
  • 1 bell pepper
  • 1 yellow onion
  • 1 tsp cumin*
  • 1 tsp chili powder*
  • 1/2 tsp salt*
  • 1/2 tsp pepper*
  • 1 tsp paprika*
  • 1 tsp cayenne*
  • 1 tsp curry powder*
  • 1 or 2 tortillas per person
  • Sour cream
  • Guacamole
  • Salsa

*Measurements are approximate

My camera decided to die after I took pictures of the cake, so I apologize.

Here’s what you do. It’s rediculously simple.

Cut up your steak into strips.

Cut up your onion into strips.

Cut your bell pepper into strips. I like to use red, for the color, but you could use green or yellow or orange if you really wanted to.

Combine your spices into a small bowl, mixing well. Sprinkle over your steak and let that sit for a minute.

Throw the onions and peppers into a skillet with some bacon grease (which you should always have on hand), and cook for about 5-8 minutes. While cooking, sprinkle a good amount of spice mixture over it. When they’re done, transfer your veggies into a serving bowl and cover until ready to eat.

In the same pan, add the steak strips, which should have had the spice mixture on it all the while the veggies cooked. Toss it in your skillet, and cook until done, about 5 minutes. Add more spice mixture while cooking. It’s delicious… don’t be afraid to go overboard.

And then eat! Spread your tortilla with sour cream, guac, and salsa, top with your steak and veggies, roll, and enjoy!

Told you it was easy.

And I made tres leches cake for dessert- the good kind, this time, as opposed to this recipe, which I did not really enjoy that much. Here’s the good recipe. God bless Ree Drummond. Seriously. Did you hear she’s getting her own Food Network show? I’m definitely watching it.

  • 1 cup All-purpose Flour
  • 1-1/2 teaspoon Baking Powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon Salt
  • 5 whole Eggs
  • 1 cup Sugar, Divided
  • 1 teaspoon Vanilla
  • 1/3 cup Milk
  • 1 can Evaporated Milk
  • 1 can Sweetened, Condensed Milk
  • 1/4 cup Heavy Cream
  • 1 pint Heavy Cream, For Whipping
  • 3 Tablespoons Sugar
  • 1 tsp lemon extract (optional)

And here’s how you do it. Combine your flour, baking powder, and salt in a bowl, stir together, and set aside.

Separate your eggs: 5 yolks in one bowl, and the whites in another.

Throw the yolks and 3/4 cup sugar into a bowl and whip on high speed until the yolks are about doubled.

Add 1/3 cup milk and vanilla, and gently stir everything is combined.

Pour the egg yolk mixture into the dry ingredients, gently incorporating everything together.

Now get a clean bowl, or clean out your mixing bowl, and whip your egg whites with an electric mixer on high speed until soft peaks form.

Pour in the remaining 1/4 cup sugar, and continue to beat those suckers until they’re stiff, but not dry.

Add the egg whites to the rest of the ingredients, and gently fold them in. Gentle is the key word, here.

The idea is to get everything incorporated without losing all the air that the whipping added.

Pour the batter into a greased pan, smoothing the top to make it as even as you can.

Put in a 350 degree oven for 35-45 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

While your cake is baking, make your soaking liquid by combining your cream, evaporated milk, and condensed milk in a medium-sized measuring cup for easy pouring. Set aside.

To make your whipped topping, pour your whipping cream, sugar, and optional lemon extract into a bowl and beat until firm peaks form.

Try saying that five times fast.

A note on the lemon extract: I just put it in whipped cream one day on a whim, and I have never made whipped cream without it since. It adds a certain zing that I find incredibly appealing.

Anyway, back to cake.

Once your cake comes out of the oven, let it cool on a cooling rack for about 10 minutes, to give it time to settle. Then, slooooooowly pour your soaking liquid over it, making sure to get that delicious goodness over every single surface of the cake.

Let it absorb, and then pour more soaking liquid on.

You probably won’t use all of the soaking liquid, but seriously, use as much as you can.

The liquid will go through the cake pretty quickly and collect at the bottom, but wait another 15 minutes or so and it’ll be sucked right back into the cake again.

That’s probably why they call it sponge cake.

Once the liquid has absorbed, cover with your whipped topping, garnish with optional merachino cherries (or however you spell it), and serve!

Happy eating!

Macaroni and Cheese

24 Oct

Yesterday, I found a recipe for macaroni and cheese that actually keeps and reheats exceptionally well, and let me tell you… I am one of the happiest girls in the world right about now. That might have to do with the fact that I’m eating the leftovers as I type, but still. Happy happy happy! Despite the fact that there is no real cheese in it, it’s still a classic and it’s still freaking delicious.

  • 4 ounces macaroni noodles
  • 6 ounces Velveeta brand cheese product (nasty sounding, but go with it)
  • 1/8 tsp pepper
  • 1/4 cup milk

That’s seriously all of the ingredients. Boil your macaroni noodles until al dente, then set aside to drain. Shock with cold water to keep them from cooking longer than they should

While that’s happening, cut up your cheese [product] into small cubes.

Cut into smaller cubes than I did please… it will make the melting step go a whole lot faster.

When your mac is draining, stick your milk into the pot you used to boil the noodles in. It’s okay if it’s still a little hot.

Then, dump your macaroni noodles on top of that…

…and dump your cheese and pepper on top of that.

Then, put the pot back on the burner over LOW heat- you don’t want to burn the deliciousness being created here.

Stir it around until it’s all melted… this will take a few minutes.

I should add that you could put a tiny bit of rooster sauce, or a pinch or two of cayenne or paprika to give it a kick.


Happy eating!

Put some into a bowl, stick a spoon into it, (take a picture of it,) and happy eating!


Pesto Chicken Pizza

23 Oct

I’m going to share a very short, very simple recipe today, because I was going through some of my old pictures and I came across some that A) I haven’t posted yet and B) looked really really tasty. It’s pesto chicken pizza… that in hindsight I should have added Alfredo sauce to as well, but whatever.

  • 1 can refrigerated pizza dough (or make your own)
  • 1/2 cup fresh basil (NOT dried)
  • 2-5 cloves garlic
  • 1/4 cup toasted pine nuts
  • 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
  • 1/4 cup olive oil
  • 2 chicken breasts
  • 8 oz. mozzarella cheese, grated

So here’s what you do. Combine your basil, garlic, pine nuts, and parm into the food processor of your choice (I prefer my Ninja, personally) and pulse until well combined.

Then add your olive oil in slowly until it looks like pesto should- pourable, but still kinda glopy. Yes, that’s an odd description- I’m an odd person.

Note: This is kinda blurry (sorry) and there should be more olive oil. Oh, well.

Anyhoo, lay your pizza dough in rectangle form on a pizza stone (or a regular baking sheet if that’s your thing), and fold up the edges to form a crust-ish looking thing.

It doesn’t have to look pretty. In the words of the Pioneer Woman, it looks… artisan.

Then, stick on your (Alfredo sauce if you want to) pesto, and smooth it around.

Nom. Layer your grated mozzarella on…

Then, cut your chicken into strips, and grill it until it’s nice and brown. I used a George Foreman grill, but a stovetop grill would work just as well, I’m sure. when it’s almost done, stick it on the pizza in a pretty pattern.

The chicken doesn’t have to be 100% done, because it’s going in the oven for a few.

Then you can sprinkle some Italian herbs of your choice over the entire thing… but only if you want to.

Then stick it in the oven until the crust is nice and golden brown, and the cheese is melted and gooey and delicious.

That’s what it should look like! Cut, serve, and happy eating!


6 Sep

Oh. My. God. These are the best things I think I’ve ever made, second only to my fries. Seriously, I made homemade cheez-its. From scratch. In less than half an hour. Technically, in the original recipe, they’re supposed to be goldfish, but I didn’t have a goldfish cookie cutter, nor did I have a soda can from which to make one, so I made squares, and called them Cheez-its.

  • 8 oz. sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
  • 1 cup flour
  • 4 Tbs butter, cubed
  • 3/4 tsp salt (plus extra for “garnish”)
  • 2 Tbs cold water

So here’s what you do. I still don’t have a camera.

In a food processor, combine all the ingredients except the water and additonal salt, and pulse until it’s texturally like sand.

Then add your water and pulse until completely combined and forms a ball.

Take your dough ball out of the processor and wrap it with plastic, and stick it in the fridge for about 20 minutes to set.

While this is going on you should probably clean up the mess… my kitchen was covered in flour after this was all said and done.

And another note, if you’re using a ninja food processor (LOVE THAT THING!), you’ll have to do this recipe in two batches.

Once the dough has rested in the fridge for the specified amount of time, take it and roll it out fairly thin- the thinner the dough, the crispier the cracker- and cut out your shapes!

Lay them all out on a parchment-lined baking sheet, making sure that none of them are touching, and sprinkle them with the additonal salt- just half a pinch per square/goldfish/cheez-it/whateveryouwanttocallit.

Lastly, stick them in a 350 degree oven for 15 minutes, or until golden brown and crispy and delicious. Take them out, let them cool for a few minutes, and serve warm. Or room temperature. They’re good either way.

Happy happy happy eating!

Yes, that’s happy eating with two extra happy-s. Enjoy!

Baked Fries

29 Aug

I have a newfound love for potatoes. It’s true. So, in honor of that new-found love, I’m sharing a baked french fry recipe with you. They’re pretty awesome.

  • 1 med. potato
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/4 tsp pepper
  • 3/4 Tbs veg. oil

It’s super simple. First, cut your potato into fry-shapes (or cubes, or however you freaking want to). Try to make them all the same size.

I lied- the first thing you should do is pre-heat your oven to 425-450 degrees F.

Then throw the potatoes into a bowl, along with the remaining ingredients. NOTE: Measurements are most definitely not precise… I just eyeball stuff.

Give the potatoes a good toss, making sure to coat evenly with the oil and seasonings.

Lay in an even layer on a baking sheet (which you could, I suppose, line with parchment paper or buttah). Stick it in the oven.

Wait for 10 minutes, then flip the fries over.

Wait for 15 more minutes, let them cool slightly, and serve.

Happy eating!